Awake Until Dreaming begins the story of Altar 25. The project attempts to do the impossible, to express the depth of feeling and emotion associated with losing a Brother. In addition, Awake Until Dreaming begins a meditation on acceptance (volume 1), celebration (volume 2), and transformation (volume 3). The three volumes of Altar 25 are written to honor the memory of Colin Matthew Duffy, who left the earth on the 9th of June at the age of 18, more than 25 years ago. In the wake of this event I found myself changed, listless, confused and afraid. As the two youngest children of 4, Colin and I shared a bedroom growing up and moving on without him seemed a daunting and insurmountable obstacle. One day, roughly three weeks after Colin passed, our dear Suzanne arrived at our family home with the news that she was indeed carrying his child in her belly. Some light had broken through the clouds and I stumbled into another previously unimaginable world.

One of my favorite memories includes choosing pieces of music with Colin, to enter the dream state. This beautiful memory is the one of the inspirational touch stones of our first volume and the reason for the name, Awake Until Dreaming. So it is that Altar 25 represents the transition of life to death, awakened to dreaming, ordinary to meditative, especially in regards to the acceptance of loss and the transformational power of allowing our grief to create fuel for something positive in our lives. The death of our loved ones it seems, can be a powerful reminder that life is worth living with passion, purpose and intention.